Long distance relationships can be filled with challenges that couples around the block from each other never confront. On the other hand, the creative ways you find to stay connected while you’re living apart will improve your creativity when you’re living together.
It’s incredibly easy to take another person for granted. You take for granted that they’ll always be there or will always love you… just because they always have. However, when you live apart for a long time period, you can draw on these memories to bring you closer together when you finally do live together. This is a bonus that other couples only experience if they intentionally take the time to be creative about connecting.
So, while it’s a challenge to stay connected, learning these skills now makes your connection better later.
While you’re apart take some time and make the effort to communicate at least once a day, more often if you can. You are able to maintain an emotional connection with communication that is brief and frequent. They don’t have to be long, in-depth heart-to-heart conversations but can be brief text messages about your daily life, asking advice or just telling your partner that you’re thinking about them.
Let us not be stalkish or smothering about it though. Calling or texting each hour, waking them up before the alarm clock or ordering pizza to be sent to their place for dinner at night is a bit much. Instead, aim for substantial and thorough communications about your ideas, asking questions, asking advice or telling about what happened to you that day.
But, let’s face it. After a little, text messages and phone calls can get tedious. So break the mould and create a video for your spouse. Chat with the phone like your spouse is sitting in the seat next to you.
The art of snail mail is failing in our society today. And yet, there is something much more personal and loving about a sheet of paper held in your hand. Write a thank you note to your spouse for listening to you while you ranted about your own boss.
Try to go to each other as frequently as possible. Internet dating has made meeting individuals from across the country easier than ever. Before this you had to really get in the car and drive somewhere to see the Rocky Mountains and meet a cowboy! Schedule as much time together as you can and spend it with other people. We live in community and when you spend it with other people, you truly get to know each other better.
Alternate who does the travel. It might be easier for one of you to travel than another, but it is important that you both put in the effort to find each other. If you can both get off, try meeting somewhere in the middle sometimes. You won’t be able to spend some time with friends, but it’s a nice way to disconnect from everyday life and connect with your partner. Just don’t let it be the only way you meet, or your understanding of life together will be seen through rose colored glasses.
Celebrate the capability to talking about the’boring’ everyday portions of your everyday. Mundane parts of your day are just normal for everyone. Celebrate your capacity to share that with your spouse and make them an interrelated part of daily life. During these times be sure to support your partner in their decisions or when they are stressed or hurt. Make sure you are available to them when things go haywire in their life away from you. Not only do they feel loved and connected when they know you are available to them, but it deepens your relationship, and isn’t that what you are after?